Am I Overthinking…Or Am I Responding to A Lot?
A Therapist’s Perspective on Overthinking
(…and when to seek support in Massachusetts)
“Am I overthinking this?”
It’s one of the most common questions people bring into therapy. So much so that I wrote a whole other blog on it here! And usually, this is a question that is not asked lightly—it’s asked after going over something again and again, trying to make sense of it, trying to get it right, trying to anticipate what might happen next.
Overthinking tends to get framed as a personal flaw, something to fix, or something to “just stop doing.” But from my perspective, I often view overthinking a little differently.
Overthinking Isn’t Random - It Makes Sense in Context
If you find yourself overthinking, there’s usually a reason!
Maybe you’ve been in environments where getting things wrong had real consequences. Maybe you’ve learned to read between the lines in relationships. Maybe you’re navigating systems (e.g., academic, professional, social) that reward perfectionism and constant self-monitoring. Maybe you hold identities where you do have to think carefully about how you show up in different spaces to stay safe.
Overthinking doesn’t happen in a vacuum—it’s also shaped by what we’re taking in. Constant exposure to information, stress, and urgency can amplify mental loops, too.
Of course your mind is working overtime; it’s trying to protect you, prepare you, and help you feel some sense of control. So, instead of asking, “How do I stop overthinking?” A more useful question might be: “What is my mind trying to do for me right now?”
When Overthinking Starts to Feel Like Too Much
At the same time, something can make sense and feel unsustainable. Overthinking often starts to cross that line when:
You can’t “land” on a decision, even small ones
You replay conversations or interactions long after they’re over
You feel mentally exhausted but unable to shut your brain off
You’re constantly anticipating worst-case scenarios
It starts to impact sleep, focus, or relationships
This is where support can actually be really helpful - the goal is not to shut down your thoughts, but to change your relationship with them.
Why “Just Stop Overthinking” Doesn’t Work
Most advice around overthinking focuses on control, including strategies like distracting yourself, just thinking “positively,” or being told not to “dwell on it.” While these may help in moments, they often miss the bigger picture. At the end of the day, overthinking is about so much more than just our thoughts. Overthinking relates to your nervous system, your environment, your lived experiences, as well as the expectations placed on you.
If your system doesn’t feel safe or settled, your mind is naturally going to keep scanning!
A Different Approach: Working With Your Mind
In therapy, we’re not trying to get rid of your thoughts. Instead, we’re trying to understand them, soften them, and create more flexibility. Here are a few starting points:
1. Name What’s Actually Happening
Instead of: “I’m overthinking again.”
Try: “My mind is trying to problem-solve / protect / prepare.”
This small shift can reduce shame and create more space.
2. Get Specific About the Thought Loop
Overthinking often feels big and vague. Try to pinpoint:
What exactly am I worried about?
What outcome am I trying to prevent?
Clarity can interrupt the spiral.
3. Bring Your Body Into It
Overthinking lives in the mind, but it’s fueled by the nervous system. If your system feels constantly “on,” it can be harder to step out of thought loops. This is especially true during periods of burnout or low mood.
Try:
stepping outside
changing environments
grounding through movement
You don’t have to think your way out of everything.
4. Set Gentle Boundaries with Your Thoughts
We want to avoid rigid control, but embrace some structure.
For example:
“I’m going to think about this intentionally for 10 minutes, then shift my attention.”
This helps your brain learn it doesn’t need to loop indefinitely.
Therapy for Overthinking in Massachusetts
If overthinking is something you’ve been carrying for a while, you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
At Upstream Mental Health, we offer therapy for overthinking in Massachusetts, working primarily with college students, graduate students, and young adults who are navigating anxiety, pressure, identity, life transitions, and much more.
We’re also firm believers that you don’t need to wait until things get really bad to start therapy. Sometimes it’s just about having a space to slow things down, make sense of your patterns, and build a different relationship with your thoughts.
Overthinking isn’t a sign that something is wrong with you. Instead, it can be a sign that you’ve learned to be thoughtful, aware, and adaptive in complex environments. The goal isn’t to take that away; it’s to help you feel a little more at ease inside your own mind. If you want to work on managing your anxiety, reach out here to get started with a therapist today.